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Saturday, December 12, 2009

Heart Sick

Bill left yesterday for a 12 day study abroad once in a life-time experience with his Graduate Program to Cairo Egypt.
Yes the Egypt of the Pharaoh's, Pyramids, and Camels variety. As Bill was driving away with Liam and I waving goodbye to him frantically my heart suddenly felt like it had broken into a million pieces. I have walked around the last day in a stupor of sadness and despair. I am cleaning like crazy mad woman and trying really hard to be upbeat and positive about the whole situation and yet I am seriously down in the dumps sad. I think the hardest part is that I can't call him or text him the zillion times a day that I am used to. We don't get the pleasure of seeing each other very much with us both-working- as- full-time- college-students-parenting-our-child-crazy-lifestyle-of-stress-and-chaos. But at least I have always had the privilege of calling him to ask him where he put the laundry, or ask him what he would like for dinner. I miss being able to talk to him throughout the day and share with him funny things Liam has said, express to him my love, or just banter with him.

I have taken my friendship and relationship with my spouse for granted! I have forgotten that he is more than just the man I live with that pays the bills each month and that I share a child with. He is so much more, he is my eternal companion, my confidante that I can share EVERYTHING with, and I mean the good the bad and the ugly. He is my best friend in every sense of the word. He has been a serious part of my life since I was 17 and he knows me so well I don't have to explain where I am coming from. He believes in me even when I don't believe in myself. He is such an important part of my past, present and future. I knew I would miss him but I am blown away with the magnitude of my sorrow in having him thousands of miles away from us.
I want you also to know that I am proud of him and supportive of him in this new and exciting adventure of his. I can hardly wait for him to share with me the stories and photos of all that he is experiencing. I am exited for him to have this important opportunity, but I miss him. I just wanted to express the thoughts and feelings of love and sadness I have in missing my dear heart.


Michele said...

That is so touching, thank you for sharing. How awesome that Bill gets to go to Egypt. That is such a great adventure. Hang in there while he's gone, It may pass quicker than you think.

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

NO WAY!!!!!!!!! Lucky duck...WOW! What an experience! I bet you're missing him so much! You're such an awesome supportive wife. :)