The Third Generation Smile

I grew up in a sleepy little mining community in Southeastern Idaho. My dad grew up in the same dusty town and as a child I would often be stopped by older folks claiming that I had "my dad's look about me." To most people this would not be significant, in fact most people resemble their parents. However, I am biracial and therefore have many of my mothers Maori features. I was unable to see past these features to see where my dad's genes had made themselves known. Therefore, I would shrug off the comments and carry on my merry little way thinking that they were all wrong and that I looked just like myself. When Liam was about three years old, my dad's relatives started telling me that Liam resembled my dad as a little boy. Again, I kinda just shrugged it off and didn't know what to think since I hadn't really seen pictures of my dad as a young boy. Well folks, I am eating my own words as the proof has been shown to me in the past few weeks. My youngest college-aged sister has been living with my parents this past Summer to earn and save money for her Sophomore year at college. She has been doing a lot of digging around through our grandmothers personal photos and history. Grandma has relished her company and has enjoyed the opportunity to reminisce about the amazing life history that she has had so far. My sister felt selfish that only she was privy to these photos and felt that they needed to be shared with our entire family. So my sissy has been uploading all of these photos to Facebook so that our entire family can enjoy these photos. I have been astounded to see that not only does Liam in reality look very similar to my dad but that I also look like my dad! I have his identical smile, my eyebrows and the shape of my eyes all come from my dad. I love that my dad, myself, and Liam all have the exact same smile. I didn't realize the smile that I love so dearly in my own son is in fact my dad's smile. It makes me so happy to know that my boy Liam has some of his papa Ken's facial features! Not to mention that when I am looking at my face, I am in fact looking at part of my dad's face as well. Somehow, this knowledge that I do in fact look like my dad has made me feel very close to him and grateful that I inherited some of his facial features to be a daily reminder of where I come from. I love you dad and am so glad that I have your "looks about me" as a reminder that I am yours. Just as Liam has "your look about him" to be a reminder that he belongs to both of us.

In Memoriam: I Am Me Because Of You

My heart is grieving and I can't seem to stop crying, today I received news that my beloved Auntie Vicky passed away from complications from Throat Cancer. My Auntie Vicky is my mother's older sister and I met her when we moved to New Zealand in 1984. I will never forget the fear and anxiety I felt as a young girl of 8 moving to a foreign country to start a new life. I was afraid of not being accepted, of making new friends, and of leaving my old life behind. When I got off of the plane, the first person I saw was Auntie Vicky. I remember Aunties smiling face and the kindness in her eyes as she warmly embraced me and asked me sincerely, "How are you doing dear, are you alright? I am your Auntie and I am so glad to meet you." She immediately took me under her wing and nurtured me with her warmth and sincerity. I was always touched by her constant attention to others. She would ask if you were OK and if you needed anything. She was the first to give of herself with no question of what it would cost her. She was the pillar of strength in our family and despite her being one of the middle children in her family, she truly was the matriarch of our family. She was our fearless leader and I revered her as a child and loved the example she was to me of being a strong yet feminine woman. As a young child I was insecure and walked with my head lowered out of shame since I felt so uncertain of myself. She spent many hours teaching me about our Maori Culture in an effort to help me understand who I was so that I would not be ashamed. When I would experience bigotry she would encourage me to hold my head up high and to walk with pride knowing who I truly am. She taught me the importance of being a strong, proud biracial woman. She forever was encouraging me by teaching me new skills and talents. She knew I loved music and she spent endless hours teaching me to sing Maori songs, to harmonize, and melodize. She would create talent shows just for me and then ask various groups in the community if I could be their entertainment. Seriously! She taught me how to perform, the finesse of public speaking, hosting, and entertaining an audience. I loved to write stories, she would spend countless hours listening to me read what I had read and she would find ways to encourage me with it. With her meager wages she would buy me paper and pens so that I could keep on writing. She was forever encouraging me with, "Come on Moana, you can do it." Before long she had me walking with my head held high with the belief in my heart that I could do anything since I had someone like her believing in me. She loved me so completely with no reservations and without question.
She was an amazing woman strong and capable and I am so blessed that I had her as my role model. Every aspect of my life has been shaped and molded by her influence, wisdom, love, and acceptance. I love and miss you Auntie!