Kennan at 18 months Old

Kennan recently turned 18 months, which means he has attended Nursery twice now. He did so well, he went in with no problems and sat down with his Nursery leader and began looking at books without a hesitation or quivering lip. I have no idea what the secret is but both of my boys have done this, whew! I am relieved, I don't know how I got so lucky and yet I am grateful that it has gone so well thus far. Bill and I were both taking turns man handling him through church and our arms and backs are grateful for the rest.

I have been feeling remiss as of late since I have not been as stellar with documenting Kennan's life so I wanted to take this opportunity to record what Kennan is doing and enjoys at this stage of his development:

Favorite Toys: Kennan loves, loves, LOVES to play with anything round because in his mind its a ball. He loves to roll the ball, throw the ball and even catch the ball. He has amazing aim and coordination for a small guy. I recently found a package of 100 balls for a great price and I quickly purchased it for him. He is now in ball heaven! I put all of the balls in our superyard or in his pack and play and watch him go. Big brother likes to climb in with him as well and both boys enjoy playing together. I like these balls because they are light weight and don't damage or mare anything when thrown. Kennan has learned the hard way about how gravity works on a hard ball. He threw a ball directly above his head and looked up to catch it and got hit really hard in the face for his troubles. So these balls are great since they wont give you a concussion or black eye.

Another favorite toy for Kennan right now is anything with wheels. He loves to play with trucks, cars, anything that has wheels and can be pushed, pulled, or wheeled around the house. I am amazed that he is able to make car sounds at this young age, I am sure it helps having an older brother to show you how its done, but he does make some very convincing car sounds. He and I spend a good portion of our play time pushing our trucks and cars around the play room floor.

Favorite Books: Kennan LOVES books! Hooray!! He enjoys climbing on to my lap and reading several books at a time. He has a great attention span and enjoys looking at each page and pointing at the pictures. If Kennan is sad or needs some extra loving,
a book is a sure way to make him happy again. We love to read and snuggle before nap time. I love this special time with him, its our special bonding time and I love that I have a boy that has a special fondness for books. However, when big brother comes home and does his reading with mom, Kennan gets upset that Liam will not share his book or let Kennan tear the book away from him. Many fights break out during Liam's reading time I am sad to report. I have to try and be creative on solving the book debacles that break out in our home. Kennan typically ends up being handed a stack of his own books to enjoy in his super yard. Sometimes this is satisfactory for him and other times he is down right scandalized that Liam will not share his books with him.

Communication Skills: When Kennan came home from the hospital his Grammy proclaimed him to be " a communicator" from all of the grunts, squeaks, and noises that he made.  True to this proclamation, Kennan has proven time and time again that he is indeed a communicator. He is a loud communicator that will let you know that he is in need of something. He is also really good at doing baby sign, however he has added some of his own that we have yet to decipher. Words that he can clearly say:

Hi
Go
Me go
MINE!
He calls Liam-Liah, he says this a lot!
Dad
Dat for that
Ma for Mom
out side 
What is it?
WHOA
WOW

He understands easy commands and will follow through with them. He knows that when he has his shoes and a jacket on it means we can go out the door on to some amazing adventure. Once he has these items on you better be ready for him to walk out the door. Any hesitation on your part and he will begin crying, "Go, go!!!" If I want him to come to me to get ready to leave I can ask him, "Kennan do you want to go?" He will then come and lay down and wait for his shoes to be put on.

When we change his diaper he is really good at also taking his dirty diaper to the garbage and throwing it away. However, we have to watch what else he puts in the garbage. I have found the TV remote, my shoes, and Liam's shirt in the trash can. We now have to lock the lid shut so that he can't discard anything that we might actually miss!

Physical Skills: Kennan began walking just after Christmas when he was almost 15 months old. He has since added running, jumping, and spinning around and around to this list of accomplishments. He loves to block the TV and dance to the music that he hears in the commercials and such. He entertained us during general conference when he danced to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performing the rest hymns. He loves to stand up on the bench in our pew during Sacrament meeting to lead the music, much to our ward members delight. He has great rhythm and loves to move to music.  He and I attended our local library's story time where they would sing and have the kids dancing in between reading books.  Kennan was in heaven!! Pure Kennan bliss! Books, music, and dancing. WHAT!! He was in pure blissful heaven!!

Kennan's loves: Kennan loves to be outside, doesn't matter that its hailing, snowing, raining, or the sun is beating down. To Kennan, these are not deterants at all. He loves to be outside. We have to lock our doors since he has figured out how to escape through them. He has even managed to make it out to the main road in front of our house. SCARY!! When Liam and daddy leave for the day Kennan cries for several minutes because he wants to go outside since they are going outside as well. He loves to be outside! Daddy takes him on adventures into the park outside of our house while I make dinner. He loves this special time where daddy lets him freely roam and explore. 

Kennan is also very good at folding his arms and bowing his head for prayer time. He loves to kneel with us at the end of the day and pray. He will spontaneously "pray" throughout the day. When we are grocery shopping when someone speaks over the PA system he instantly bows his head and folds his arms. I have no idea why someone speaking over an intercom makes him think of praying but it sure does.

Kennan also loves to scribble on anything, walls, books, furniture, himself anything you can imagine. We have had to become more aware of what writing implements are accessible to him. I am grateful for a magic erasure cleaning product that allows me to erase all of his graffiti. I love that he is a budding artist as well, however we have been trying to teach him where he can draw and where he cannot. "Paper is for drawing, the couch is not for drawing."

Kennan is also a great eater. He LOVES his food!! He especially loves meat, pasta, oranges, yogurt, and cheese. I am so grateful for a healthy eater that enjoys his food and makes the funniest noises while he eats. You can tell that he is enjoying that PB&J by the noises he is making while he eats it. I love this little detail about him.

I am so thankful that I get to be this wonderful and delightful little boys mom. He adds to the joy in our home and we are so grateful for the blessing he is in our lives. He keeps us on our toes running from one disaster to another but we would not have it any other way! We love you Kennan!!

7 years and 7 months

For two day, we had a seven year old and a seven month old. Liam turned seven this year and Kennan was seven months old for two whole days before we had a seven year old and an 8 month old. Despite our boys 6 1/2 years gap, they are really close to each other. Liam is a mother hen and is constantly taking care of Kennan. Much to Kennan's consternation! However, Liam is the first person that Kennan looks for every morning and he affectionately calls, "La, La" throughout the house looking for Liam. Once he finds La La Liam, he breaks out into a huge grin and squeals in delight. Kennan also loves to be held and carried by Liam. He knows that Liam is going to take him on an adventure and he loves to be his brothers companion. Liam for his part is forever concerned about Kennan and ensures that he is safe and can't fall or have things fall on him. He has been overheard lecturing Kennan, "Don't do that again OK, that scared me!" And he is brave enough to put his fingers into Kennan's mouth to retrieve things that Kennan should not be eating--lint, small toys, food off of the floor. Liam usually gets a sharp bite on the finger for his efforts but his concern for his brother out weights all of this. Liam and Kennan love each other and are such great friends to one another. I am grateful that despite their huge age difference that they are close buddies despite it all.

Major Update Part 1

I know that it has been way to long since I have updated the blog. I am sure that not many of my readers are still about and yet I keep reminding myself that this blog is really a place for me to record a journal of sorts for my posterity. With the thoughts of my children and keeping a record for them, I will continue to update this blog on the happenings of the past three months. I have one month down and two more to go, watch this spot in the next few days as I finish updating our happenings.

Kennan Warwick Fullmer’s Birth Story

On Oct 4^th, I had a scheduled appointment to meet with my midwife, I was 40 weeks and 6 days pregnant and something drastic was going to have to happen in order to ensure that baby Kennan was born within a safe window where the placenta was still strong and healthy enough to endure the rigors of childbirth. We therefore discussed what my options were: I could either have a scheduled induction at 42 weeks or we could try natural measures to induce my labor. I opted to avoid a pitocin induction since I had every intention of having an unmedicated birth. With Liam, I had pitocin administered and I really didn’t like the effects that it had on me and I was willing to do everything in my power to avoid having it again. We therefore made the decision to strip my membranes. As the midwife was stripping them, she discovered that I had a lip where my membranes were having a hard time releasing. She gently but firmly massaged the area and helped them to release. Instantly I felt a wave of huge contractions. Up to this point, I was having constant Braxton Hicks but they were gradually building over the course of the month of September and time was quickly running out where we could feel comfortable allowing the pregnancy to continue putting the baby at potential risk if his placenta began to break down. Claudia--the midwife, then had me go to the hospital to take a stress-test for the baby. I was hooked up to a monitor and ultrasound machine. During the 30-minute test about 4-5 contractions were recorded and I was definitely noticing a change in the contractions. They were now longer and growing in intensity. At this point Bill and I were thinking that perhaps in the next two days or so we might be having a baby but I was not thinking that less than 12 hours I would be holding baby Kennan! Bill had an important errand to run down to Provo, he was delivering marketing material for a Pier 49 Pizza Restaurant that was going to be reopening under new management and we had to get their material to them immediately. We opted to go to Provo and deliver the material thinking that we wouldn’t be having a baby anytime soon. However, as we were driving to Provo, I again noticed that the contractions were growing longer and again more intense. At this point, I was still able to talk through them and so I was not timing them yet. When we arrived at the store, I went to help Bill install one of the signs and I noticed that there was a lot of uncomfortable pressure pushing down inside of my pelvic area. I positioned myself where no one could see me, and I began doing some pelvic rocking, pelvic figure eights, and other labor exercises. The pressure only intensified and the contractions grew more intense to the point that I had to concentrate more while having them. We drove back to Salt Lake and met again with Claudia to have her re-strip the membranes again. I remember the time was 4:45 pm. I went to empty my bladder before she stripped me again and while in the bathroom, my bloody show was in my underclothing and a large bloody mucous plug slipped out into the toilet. As Claudia stripped my membranes, another large quantity of the bloody show released and she could feel my body contract as she removed her hands from my body. She looked me in the eyes and said, “ Don’t go home tonight, you need to stay with a family member here in Salt Lake I think your baby is coming soon.” I lay there stunned as a wave of the hugest contractions racked my body and took my breath away. I was starting to realize that I was creeping towards being in active labor. Claudia suggested that while at my sister-in-laws house that I take some castor oil to send my body completely over the edge and ensure that my body would go into active labor. I was also constipated and it was determined that it would benefit me to have some castor oil anyway. Bill and I went to the grocery store for some castor oil, pads since my bloody show was still coming out with large amounts of mucus, gator-ade and some food for the labor. As I tried to stand and walk, I felt a huge pressure in my pelvic area and I realized that walking at this point was not an option. The contractions were now exactly 6 minutes apart lasting for a full minute. I waited in the car while Bill spoke with me on the phone as he got the supplies we would need. We were nervous and excited that perhaps we would be holding our baby boy very soon. We arrived at Joanna’s house and began organizing our supplies. We had already packed our car with our suitcases and all the supplies we would need and so we were already well prepared weeks earlier. We knew that we wanted to go to the hospital not a minute sooner than we needed to. We packed a small bag that had all the essentials that I could carry on my lap while Bill pushed me in the wheelchair for when we would eventually be going to the hospital. While standing there, I told Bill, “ I am feeling this pressure that makes me want to either push or that my water is going to break.” Again, another sign that active labor was upon us and yet we tried to rationalize that we still had loads of time until we needed to leave for the hospital. Eventually we made our way into Joanna’s house as she was preparing dinner for her family. It was about 6-6:30 pm. I was now having contractions about every 4 minutes apart lasting for more than a minute but not more than a minute and a half. I took the castor oil and waited for my bowels to move. I continued to do my pelvic rocks, figure eights, and other laboring exercises. I was stunned that instead of my bowels moving the pressure building in my pelvic area was so intense that I felt a lot of discomfort and wanted to start pushing to relieve the pressure. I felt prompted that it was time to leave. I was stunned since I had only been at Joanna’s for about an hour. But the pressure was building and I felt that it was time to go. In the car on the way to the hospital the contractions began to build to the point I had to focus very hard on them and concentrate. I breathed through them and noticed that I was beginning to moan and pant with them. I had no idea what that was about, just that the contractions were like hard crashing waves that were taking my breathe away. We arrived at the hospital and were confused when we couldn’t find a valet to park our car. We decided that we didn’t have time to fuss with these details and so we parked ourselves. I did my best to walk to the elevators to take me inside of the hospital out of the parking garage and I was hit with several more contractions that literally stopped me in my tracks and forced me to sway and labor dance right there in the parking garage. I was trying really hard to pretend that I wasn’t in labor and yet I don’t think I was very convincing. I got to a point where the pressure was so intense I knew I couldn’t put one foot in front of the other in fear of a baby coming out right there in the parking garage. Bill ran and got a wheelchair for me and he briskly walked me into labor and delivery. The nurses had not received our message that we were on the way and opted to triage me. I was then hooked up to a monitor and placed in a really uncomfortable position on my back. I was dying to get out of that bed and move at the end of the bed with my contractions so that I could sway and labor dance. I was in triage for about an hour, I could see my contractions on the monitor, I could see them building, I was now having them at three minute intervals with them lasting 45 sec to a minute and a half. The nurses didn’t seem at all concerned or even in a hurry to admit me into labor and delivery. I went to the bathroom several times to see if the building pressure was in actuality my bowels trying to move from the castor oil. No such luck. I began to pray that they would hurry up and admit me to labor and delivery since I was now positive that a baby was coming very soon. While lying in triage, my waters began to slowly leak and so I was automatically admitted into labor and delivery. I was so grateful that Heavenly Father answered my prayers! I requested a bathtub room and was quickly whisked away to be monitored again. I was starting to feel frantic at this point since laying down and being monitored was causing me great discomfort. I wanted to be moving with each contraction or lying in the side-laying position not on my back! My blood pressure and body temperature was giving them some concern and so they wanted to keep monitoring me. In hindsight, I believe that because of the pain I was in and the nervousness I was feeling about getting up and moving, my BP and temps were slightly elevated because once I was out of the bed and moving they returned to normal. The nurse then began to administer a hep-lock and I refused it. She was not too happy with me but my midwife came in at this point and supported my decision. I was not trying to be contrary, I have very small veins that are difficult to find. Whenever I have a needle or hep-lock in my veins they cause me great pain and are a huge distraction. I did not want something in my arm unnecessarily that would cause me to lose my focus while laboring unmedicated. I allowed them to run blood tests on me to determine if I was becoming toxic or any other concerns to appease the nurse I also promised them that if in a little while I needed the hep-lock I would comply. In reality, I felt in my gut that there wasn’t time and that I would have a baby before it would be a concern. At this point, I asked if I could please get into the tub and so they were trying to track down the wireless monitor for me. By this point, I am really worried because I am feeling the urge to either have a bowel movement or push. I unhooked myself from the machines and made it into the bathroom. I closed the door and began pushing to see if it was my bowels that were troubling me. NOPE! I stood up and squatted and pushed to again see if my bowels would finally release—NOPE!! Only more pressure and discomfort. I was slightly confused because I was feeling the huge urge to push, I had only been in the hospital for maybe 2 hours total and here I was feeling this urge to push. I sat there on the toilet for one long contraction that lasted about 2 minutes long and I found that sitting on the toilet was more comfortable than the bed and yet I wanted to be in the tub off of my pelvis and on my side in some relaxing water. The nurse came to check on me and I told her I really want to start pushing, she reached down and checked me and told me that I was at a five with the baby’s head down and pushing hard on my cervix. I had to wait to begin pushing, I was so uncomfortable that I started stripping off all my clothes and I just got into the bathtub. The water was barely running and the contractions were racking my body and my body was screaming that it wanted to push. I tried to get on my hands and knees and that only made the pressure worse, I got onto my side and asked to please let me begin pushing. The nurse checked me again and I was already at a 6, in one contraction I had gone 1 cm. I thought that I might be there a while and I asked Bill to “Take me to Tony's.” This was our key word for him to start the scripting that we had written about a day at Tony Grove Lake. This scripting was designed to help me to go into a deep relaxation that would allow my body to deal with the pain. He began the first few sentences and the contractions came barreling into me with such force that I lost my concentration. All I could do was sway in the water and moan to stop my body from bearing down. Bill wisely gave me an image to sustain me through the contraction. He said, “See the golden ball of light”, another one of our key words. I had trained myself to see a ball of golden light entering my body with each breath and going to certain parts of my body to direct the breathe to that area to relax and focus that area of my body. I kept imagining the ball of light entering into my womb and warming my baby and gently pushing him down towards my cervix and out of my body. This contraction lasted for about three-four minutes, I had been training myself mentally for this moment for so long and yet the pain and urge to push was so intense that I felt lost and confused because everything was moving so much faster than I though possible. I continued to hold onto the side rail of the tub only because I felt like if I let go of it that I would be letting go of sanity itself. I felt like I had to hold onto something to anchor me to reality and keep me from tail spinning into a panic since everything was moving incredibly fast. As I moaned and breathed out, my midwife’s tender voice kept advising me not to push, “You will hurt yourself, keep breathing and moaning your doing exactly what your baby needs you to do.” Her voice was the sound of reason that I needed to help me through the pain. I also felt a reassuring hand gently rubbing my thigh, I didn’t know who it was but from their touch I could tell that they cared a great deal about me. I said out loud, “Whoever is rubbing my leg, thank you that is very reassuring.” Bill then spoke up, “That’s me, loving you through this honey.” I felt his love and his support and felt like I could make it through the pain for him, for me, and for Kennan. The contraction lasted for about three minutes and again I was pleading with the midwife to let me push. She checked me and I went from a 6-10 cm in one contraction. She advised me to get out of the tub and onto the bed so that we could begin pushing. I wanted to push so bad that all I could do was think about getting to that bed. As I stood, another contraction crashed into my body, they were coming less than a minute apart and I was involuntarily pushing. I stood at the side of the tub and swayed and squatted as if to push. A moment of rational thought crept in, “Do you want to deliver your baby here on this cold tile floor?” I than stumbled into the bedroom and surprised everyone and myself included when I climbed onto the bed backwards facing away from the foot of the bed and facing the wall at the head of the bed. The bed was at a 45-degree angle and I got on all fours. I was going to have my baby on my hands and knees and it felt so naturally right that I didn’t question it. I overheard the nurses saying, “ Well that’s one way of pushing out a baby.” I quickly grabbed onto the head of the bed with both my arms and with the next contraction I began bearing down. I could hear the encouragement of the nurses to keep pushing exactly like that, that they could see the top of my baby’s head. I could feel his head slowly creeping down and I continued to push with all that I had. I wanted that pressure to stop hurting me and to bring my baby to me. At the end of the contraction, Bill came to inform me that I had just delivered his entire head, in my mind I am thinking, “Ok now the shoulders.” The ring of fire then came with the next contraction and I choose to stop pushing and moan through the contraction. I could feel my body burning as my perineum slowly opened like the petals of rose in full bloom. I felt the gently hands of the nurse guiding my baby as she gently massaged my perineum and encouraged me not to push and to rest and keep breathing. In my mind I was screaming at this point but Bill says that I was only breathing and moaning really hard. I felt so much pressure and I knew that the only way to make it stop was to push with the next contraction. Again, I bore down and pushed with every muscle and ounce of strength in my body and I felt a huge relief as his shoulders made it through and his body gracefully slithered out of my body. I was facing away from the room and couldn’t see him yet. I could however feel his arms and legs slippery and warm pushing and kicking against my feet and ankles. “ I started saying, “My baby, my baby, oh my baby.” Over and over again as I was dying to hold him in my arms. Bill clipped the cord with the midwifes help and the other nurses quickly began rubbing and giving Kennan a short burst of oxygen. They weighed him and measured him. By the time I had been helped to move into a sitting position, my baby was handed into my waiting arms. I snuggled him into my chest and began talking to him. He was so alert and curious! I placed him on my breast and within a few minutes he quickly began nursing. I could hear him swallowing and a stream of yellow colostrum was seen in the corner of his mouth. I asked the nurse how badly I had tore and she was pleased to tell me that I had not torn. The only damage was what they call skid marks or abrasions to the right labia. The midwife felt that putting a few stitches in the area would help the healing process and allow me to urinate without discomfort with a few stitches there to assist the healing process. My perineum was fully in tact and had stretched to allow all 10 pounds 4 oz and 20 inches of my baby boy through. The nurses were in awe that a baby Kennan’s size could be born unmedicated and cause no damage to the mother. I told them that I have been working really hard to achieve this goal and that I couldn’t have done it without my Bradley birthing classes, Hypo-birthing, and Mind over Labor techniques. I have been working really hard preparing myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically for Kennan’s birth. Natural unmedicated childbirth is not for everyone and some women question my sanity in wanting to attempt this. The only way for me to explain it is to compare it to a marathon. Some people want to see what they are made of what they are capable of and how far they can go. So they train for a marathon and push themselves in order to see what they are capable of. I wanted to see how far I could go and what I was capable of and so I trained for a natural undmedicated birth. I am so proud of myself for achieving a goal that I have had since I was 5 years old and witnessed my first homebirth that was unmedicated and totally natural. I have assisted with about 20 natural unmedicated births in the past 30 years and have often wondered if I had what it takes to join the rank of women that have had unmedicated births. Afterwards, I told Bill for me that I feel as if I have come into my womanhood—I feel like a woman and no longer like a girl. I also have noticed that I am more confident in myself and feel that I can trust my instincts and mother’s intuitions because it was these tools that helped me the most through Kennan’s birth. If I am blessed with more children, I hope that I will be able to have another unmedicated and natural childbirth because the recovery was so awesome. I was up and walking within thirty minutes of Kennan’s birth and have been getting my strength back day by day. I have also dropped most of the weight—26 pounds in 9 days not to shabby! I am only ten pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I have plans on losing all of that and a whole lot more besides that. For me, an unmedicated natural childbirth was the right decision. I know that it’s not for everyone and in some situations it would not be possible or advisable. I respect every women’s right to choose for her what is best for her and her baby. For me, in this instance it was the right choice for me and I am so grateful that I had this opportunity to see what I am capable of. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father blessed me to be healthy and that we were able to pass through this experience with out incident. I feel so grateful that Kennan’s birth had such a positive outcome—I am truly blessed and grateful! I couldn’t have done all this without Heavenly Fathers help, my husbands loving support, and the incredible medical staff and midwives at both the Madsen Clinic and the University of Utah Health Care Center. I am extremely happy and pleased with how everything turned out in the end and looking at the robust and healthy cheeks of my baby boy makes everything totally worth it! I love you Kennan Warwick Fullmer and I am so grateful that you have graced my life with your presence. I am one happy and proud mama! Having my two little boys has only enhanced my love for Bill and made me fall deeper in love with him. Marrying him was the smartest and best choice I have ever made! I love watching Liam interacting with his little brother and I love seeing Kennan’s eyes light up when Liam holds him. I love my little family and am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that has made all of this in my life possible. I feel so blessed and surrounded by so much love, I am one lucky and blessed lady!